Bear It I Must

The first (and only)

Time I visited a psychic for a reading,

He shivered as he grasped my hand and groaned under the weight of my energy.

“You have worlds upon your shoulders,”

He told me.

“You are buried beneath such a heavy weight. What is causing you such pain?”

Having gone in believing in nothing,

I blushed, feeling completely exposed and

Absolutely unprepared for vulnerability.

“I’m clinically depressed,” was the best answer I could muster and his eyes became wide as

He dropped my hand.

“You need to let it go. Whatever it is that is sitting on you will fight to hold you down.

You have to let it go or you will be crushed by it.”

And that is why I avert eyes in the grocery store, why I don’t speak too long at parties, why I do my best to stay home at all costs.

I live in fear not of the weight on my chest,

But that those around me will see it, will feel it,

Will kindly tell me to “let it go”

And I will have to say,

“This burden is mine to bear, and bear it I must.”

One thought on “Bear It I Must

  1. Please forgive me if this offends. Your post is beautiful in a sad way. I have bipolar. I have found that my spirituality (I am a Christian) is what helps me the most. And therapy. I hope you will find the burden you bear lifts soon. Oh and also, I prefer to stay at home mostly too. It’s ok. You are ok. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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