Musings from a Past Life

Bought beer with what little money I had left and it may have been the best decision of my life or the worst. After chugging two I found myself feeling incredibly good, all over, within and without. This feeling always leads me to the same question though, why don’t I always do this? The relief my mind and body felt after those drinks was immeasurable. Why was I not constantly in a state of head-buzz?

After the fourth (these were downed in less than a half hour) I was drunk. The good, loud, confident drunk. But my anxiety became uncomfortably out of control; it made me sick to my stomach (literally, over and over again). I was in the bathroom for hours, emptying the entire contents of my body. And as I sat there, alone and reeking of my own vomit, I remembered asking myself why I don’t always do this and here is the answer: because two beers leads to four leads to more. Because I never know when to stop. Because feeling good never lasts.

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